It is ironic that it doesn't matter how successful I am in any other capacity: ultimately, my parents' marker is 'Do you have a wife?' and 'Do you have children?'

So I had this completely unrealistic idea of what America was – but I wanted to be there.

Traditional television as we have known it will make love to the Internet and have a child. That child will be the future. It’s already happening, and it’s hot!

For anybody who’s ever been on the other end of, like, racial violence logic is not something that can be used.

There’s no school that you can go to and learn how to be a “Daily Show” correspondent and how to interview people and, you know, essentially leave your soul outside the door and go in there and kind of, you know, destroy people’s lives sometimes.

They have thirty-two flavors, thirty-two bloody flavors,” he said, “and you order chocolate? Chocolate you can get anywhere in the world. Why did we come to America? It is an insult to every beggar on the streets of India to simply order chocolate. We didn’t sacrifice everything and come to the land of plenty so that you could be satisfied with bloody plain old chocolate ice cream.

I said we are Ghodratis and there’s nothing that Ghodratis like more than a bargain.

Americans think about the rest of the world the same way New Yorkers think about the rest of America: they don’t.

North Carolina precinct chairman and GOP executive committee member Don Yelton thinks his state’s new voting restrictions are just fine.

The experience of being on a show that is very much in the center of popular culture is exciting. You really feel like you’re reaching people.